Buzz Word Bingo
I work in a corporate office, if you do too, you might be able to relate to this. I’ve noticed that management seem to speak their own language, an extension of normal-person-speak . It almost sounds like normal words but it’s not. It’s usually a complicated, confusing way of saying something simple. Example: John doesn’t have the bandwidth for that project. Translation: John’s fucking busy.
I think it is a way of separating themselves from the average worker. Whatever the case, it drives me a bit mad. Certain phrases and words seem to go in an out of favour too. Who is driving this step-change? (as by boss would say).
I recently moved jobs, I thought some of the buzz words used at my old workplace were unique to it, then I went to the new workplace and they were there too! My new job also has some new phrases I hadn’t heard before. It is a different industry so maybe that’s why they’re playing the bonus round. Every industry probably has their own set of words that make up their own buzz word bullshit.
Some co-workers and I even play buzz word bingo in meetings (I’m still waiting for my employee of the month award, I know, ripped off, right?). We write down as many buzz words as we can before a meeting and cross them off as they’re mentioned. One of these days I’m just going to yell out bingo while my boss is talking and get my ass written up.
Some of the buzz words/phrases I love to hate include, appetite, judicious, take this off-line, bandwidth, lets park this idea, telco, tag-up and artefacts. If you were really clever, you could see how many you could include in the one sentence. “I don’t have the bandwidth, but I certainly have the appetite to tag up and talk about managerial artefacts; we’re going to have to be judicious in our decisions, lets park this idea and take it off line, perhaps we could arrange a telco?”.